Taken from “Surely You're Joking, Mr.
Feynman!” Adventures of a Curious Character by Richard Phillips Feynman as told to Ralph Leighton edited by
Edward Hutchings
There
was an Italian radio station in Brooklyn, and as a boy I used to listen to it
all the time. I LOVed the ROLLing SOUNds going over me, as if I was in the
ocean, and the waves weren’t very high. I used to sit there and have the water
come over me, in this BEAUtiful iTALian. In the Italian programs there was
always some kind of family situation where there were discussions and arguments
between the mother and father: High voice: “Nio
teco TIEto capeto TUtto …”
Loud,
low voice: “DRO tone pala
TUtto!! ” (with hand slapping).
It
was great! So I learned to make all these emotions: I could cry; I could laugh;
all this stuff. Italian is a lovely language.
There
were a number of Italian people living near us in New York. Once while I was
riding my bicycle, some Italian truck driver got upset at me, leaned out of his
truck, and, gesturing, yelled something like, “Me aRRUcha LAMpe etta Tiche! ”
I
felt like a crapper. What did he say to me? What should I yell back?
So
I asked an Italian friend of mine at school, and he said, “Just say, ‘A te! A te! ’—which means
‘The same to you! The same to you!”
I
thought it was a great idea. I would say “A
te! A te! ” back—gesturing, of course. Then, as I gained
confidence, I developed my abilities further. I would be riding my bicycle, and
some lady would be driving in her car and get in the way, and I’d say, “PUzzia a la maLOche!
”—and she’d shrink! Some terrible Italian boy had cursed a terrible curse at
her!
It
was not so easy to recognize it as fake Italian. Once, when I was at Princeton,
as I was going into the parking lot at Palmer Laboratory on my bicycle,
somebody got in the way.
My
habit was always the same: I gesture to the guy, “oREzze caB ONca MIche! ”, slapping the back
of one hand against the other.
And
way up on the other side of a long area of grass, there’s an Italian gardner
putting in some plants. He stops, waves, and shouts happily, “REzza ma LIa! ”
I
call back, “RONte BALta!
”, returning the greeting. He didn’t know I didn’t know, and I didn’t know what
he said, and he didn’t know what I said. But it was OK! It was great! It works!
After all, when they hear the intonation, they recognize it immediately as
Italian—maybe it’s Milano instead of Romano, what the hell. But he’s an
iTALian! So it’s just great. But you have to have absolute confidence. Keep
right on going, and nothing will happen.
One
time I came home from college for a vacation, and my sister was sort of
unhappy, almost crying: her Girl Scouts were having a father-daughter banquet,
but our father was out on the road, selling uniforms. So I said I would take
her, being the brother (I’m nine years older, so it wasn’t so crazy).
When
we got there, I sat among the fathers for a while, but soon became sick of
them. All these fathers bring their daughters to this nice little banquet, and
all they talked about was the stock market—they don’t know how to talk to their
own children, much less their children’s friends.
During
the banquet the girls entertained us by doing little skits, reciting poetry,
and so on. Then all of a sudden they bring out this funny-looking apronlike
thing, with a hole at the top to put your head through. The girls announce that
the fathers are now going to entertain them.
So
each father has to get up and stick his head through and say something—one guy
recites “Mary Had a Little Lamb”—and they don’t know what to do. I didn’t know
what to do either, but by the time I got up there, I told them that I was going
to recite a little poem, and I’m sorry that it’s not in English, but I’m sure
they will appreciate it anyway:
A Tuzzo Lanto
Poici
di Pare
TANto
SAca TULna TI, na PUta TUchi PUti TI la.
RUNto
CAta CHANto CHANta MANto CHI la TI da.
YALta
CAra SULda MI la CHAta Picha Pino Tito
BRALda
pe te CHIna nana CHUNda lala CHINda lala CHUNda!
RONto
piti CA le, a TANto CHINto quinta LALda
ola
TiNta dalla LALta, YENta PUcha lalla TALta!
I
do this for three or four stanzas, going through all the emotions that I heard
on Italian radio, and the kids are unraveled, rolling in the aisles, laughing
with happiness.
After
the banquet was over, the scoutmaster and a schoolteacher came over and told me
they had been discussing my poem. One of them thought it was Italian, and the
other thought it was Latin. The schoolteacher asks, “Which one of us is right?”
I
said, “You’ll have to go ask the girls—they understood what language it was
right away.”